Vacation Choose Me

It has been almost a month now since i started my real workout and diet, the weight is still the same, still obese with 36.9 BMI so i took a visit to Dr. Taleb Al shemiry as it seems everyone is loosing some good weight with him – as he showed me and claimed- but one thing they all have in common, saggy skin and very bony face, i will give it a try starting tomorrow and I’ll see how it works with me hoping I’d look better .

Now it is vacation time, my family will travel soon, brothers to Europe and US , Parents to Asia and Sisters with the rest to Southern America .. i really don’t want to go to Europe, I’d love to go to southern America, i want to see how Asia is but i can’t because i have to lose twenty kilos before  going to those places, i can’t.

After long thinking i decided to stay in Kuwait after all and work, so i thought about my friends to hang out with unfortunately, we went to the beach, they are all in their swim suits, getting tanned, having pina coladas with candy’s and taking pictures of each other. I decided to be the one who takes pictures of them because I’m the only one wearing shorts and a T-shit on top of my swimming suit, and  the only one who can’t get a tan because if i did my stretch marks would shout out laud.

Being the girl in the shadow truly made me lose all the fun and their bare foot dancing under the sun on the hot beach, so what am i doing with my friends if i can’t join them or have a conversation with them -since they are all busy tanning- i took a long walk along the beach then took a book and started to read.

Having summer activities with my friends didn’t work so i decided to join my older friends to go shopping and have a cup of tea or a coffee, it wasn’t any better, i went out with them and all i was doing is following them and choosing clothes for them since there are no clothes that would fit me in Villa Moda or Al Raya or any other mall we went to and going to those coffee shops i always feel uncomfortable with the staring eyes specially that my friends are all fit , sitting next to them would just make me feel like a dinosaur … bottom line I’ll be spending this summer working, struggling with weight and live in our living room with my hobbies since no place  fits me.

I think they don’t like me going out with them either, they don’t call me when they go out, even my cousins they go out together but never ask me unless they have someone cancels  and now on top of that my brothers refuse to take me with them on a jet plane unless i lose twenty kilos.

I wonder why i was brought to this world? to be filled with hobbies ? to read alot? to study all day? to work all night? to take care of old people? to have no friend in my age, only my mother and sisters?!

I’m praying this new diet to work.