Day Nine of Care

Breakfast: I was late so i had no time to take a picture of the beautiful plate of three different cheeses (cheddar, Halloum, جبنة الفأر) with red cabbage and celery with two strawberry’s on the side.. i hate cheese, and i told that handsome man i don’t like cheese, why did he added it?!

Snack 1: bomly and pomegranate fruit salad mixed with guava juice. I noticed something, these days I’m ready to stop having snacks and have this dish as it is supposed to be a complementary to the main meal 🙂 shall i ask him before doing that?

lunch9

Lunch: Chelo Kebab with pomegranate rice (yummy) , mast kheyar (cucumber with yogurt)

Snack 2: Fruit salad

dinner 9

Dinner: Sweet and sour fish with boiled potato’s, artichoke salad and vegetable with lentil soup.

Lesson 3: Enjoy life, and don’t get bothered about people.. also stay active.

Why do we have days of none stop tears? days that nothing goes right, nothing makes you smile, no one seems to care about who you are and what you do. Today is one of those days to me, too many old people called me but none really cared to know what is going on with me, they just wanted to do it so my mother would know they did.

All these ladies are 30+ older than i am, and they feel very comfortable to talk to me about their fears and life, they are all suffering from loneliness when i realized i am living their life. I feel lonely, i feel alone, i feel left alone too.. where are you? do you hear me? or are you listening to what i say?

Me , my aunt, my other aunt, our neighbor, my other aunt, my other aunt, …etc and none stop of old women suffering the same pain i am suffering from, but do they go into tears the way i do? or did age tamed their expressions?

I love being alone, i love traveling on my own and i would be at the happiest time of my life, because i know i am alone not living in the same house with others who are there but not. Living in the same location where you know hundreds of people but none is there next to you, none is there to call and share a laugh or just talk about your day and they would care to know. What makes it even worse that they feel really comfortable to talk to me about their lives, but who will listen about mine?

Morning prayers will. I believe god hears me, i actually talk to him and he response to me every single time in a way or another , still i’m human after all, i lose faith and i need another creature that would think, make voices and i can touch.

I love to hear you still.. vent out all your fears, after all thats why i was born, i guess, to adsorb all your pain.