Back to the Ground

For the past hmmm couple of months or more maybe , i’ve been away from the whole world, me and my husband (Khalid) were celebrating the new dress size i’m having these days, i can finally shop from every British shop, not yet from the fancy brand names but at least not plus sizes anymore. We’ve been shopping alot, hanging out alot and enjoying the company of our old friends here in Kuwait. I can say shopping is the best part of it all.. the rest gave me a bit of depression.

Khalid and I are very touchy people, we love to hold hands from time to time and admire each other when ever we feel like it and this got us in trouble in Kuwait, hanging out with our married friends isn’t helping at all, if i hold his hands they would say ” ga6a roo7ha 3aleeh” and when he is holding mine “3ala shino mayet 3aleeha, 3ayara” they don’t leave us alone. Khalid and I started to get hurt from what they are saying and we started to go out on our own again and he started to change. My husband used to be very romantic and makes me feel like his priority’s in life, today after months in Kuwait he has other priorities than his wife, he have to call his friends instead of talking to his partner, he has to cancel our dates because he can’t tell his friends he’s going out with his wife or they would make fun of him, and when he is with them he can’t talk to me because they wont stop teasing him.

Today his list of tasks everyday starts with his job, his friends, his family, his free time relaxing from his social life, then home to eat and sleep and maybe his wife. We are not talking to each other anymore, i wake up earlier than him, i sleep after him, we sleep next to each other, and each of us has his own life away from the other, its just the house that is bringing us back together despite the fact that no communication ever happens behind the doors nor romance. Our weekends are in our family’s house and usually men are separated from women as so i am with Khalid, on our friends wedding, we were separated too, in our gyms too. Nothing is bringing us back together.

After a long thinking i decided to step on my pride and do something to bring us back together so i sugested we go out on a date, just me and him in a private place … due to finance issues our private place was his car, we met there and cruised around the whole country. During that time i thought finally we can hold hands and be together in one car without having to go to two different places after words.  We started to talk and talk and talk and laugh for less than 15 minutes until his friends started to call every single minute, then his work, then again his friends and over and over and over … whats more annoying that those friends are usually his female friends, once they know he is out with me they make all kinds of jokes about us.

We couldn’t enjoy our time, or i couldn’t enjoy my time, he was on the phone and i was on his chest… until i got tired from sitting and we went home and fell asleep without saying anything to each other again. He was tried from talking on the phone, and i was tired from roaming around the country for 3 hours listing to his friends chat about their boyfriends, jobs etc.

Now I gathered my self and decided to let my emotion aside and start focusing on my own life, get my masters, find me a decent job, enjoy my weightloss process , meet my friends and make newer ones, enjoy my hobbies and let our relationship take its own path in either having us back together or grow apart.  Life is too short to be wasted like that.

Because of that I’m back to write my stories, back to the kuwaiti life style and i shall never be away again.. nothing is worth it.