Back to the Ground

For the past hmmm couple of months or more maybe , i’ve been away from the whole world, me and my husband (Khalid) were celebrating the new dress size i’m having these days, i can finally shop from every British shop, not yet from the fancy brand names but at least not plus sizes anymore. We’ve been shopping alot, hanging out alot and enjoying the company of our old friends here in Kuwait. I can say shopping is the best part of it all.. the rest gave me a bit of depression.

Khalid and I are very touchy people, we love to hold hands from time to time and admire each other when ever we feel like it and this got us in trouble in Kuwait, hanging out with our married friends isn’t helping at all, if i hold his hands they would say ” ga6a roo7ha 3aleeh” and when he is holding mine “3ala shino mayet 3aleeha, 3ayara” they don’t leave us alone. Khalid and I started to get hurt from what they are saying and we started to go out on our own again and he started to change. My husband used to be very romantic and makes me feel like his priority’s in life, today after months in Kuwait he has other priorities than his wife, he have to call his friends instead of talking to his partner, he has to cancel our dates because he can’t tell his friends he’s going out with his wife or they would make fun of him, and when he is with them he can’t talk to me because they wont stop teasing him.

Today his list of tasks everyday starts with his job, his friends, his family, his free time relaxing from his social life, then home to eat and sleep and maybe his wife. We are not talking to each other anymore, i wake up earlier than him, i sleep after him, we sleep next to each other, and each of us has his own life away from the other, its just the house that is bringing us back together despite the fact that no communication ever happens behind the doors nor romance. Our weekends are in our family’s house and usually men are separated from women as so i am with Khalid, on our friends wedding, we were separated too, in our gyms too. Nothing is bringing us back together.

After a long thinking i decided to step on my pride and do something to bring us back together so i sugested we go out on a date, just me and him in a private place … due to finance issues our private place was his car, we met there and cruised around the whole country. During that time i thought finally we can hold hands and be together in one car without having to go to two different places after words.Β  We started to talk and talk and talk and laugh for less than 15 minutes until his friends started to call every single minute, then his work, then again his friends and over and over and over … whats more annoying that those friends are usually his female friends, once they know he is out with me they make all kinds of jokes about us.

We couldn’t enjoy our time, or i couldn’t enjoy my time, he was on the phone and i was on his chest… until i got tired from sitting and we went home and fell asleep without saying anything to each other again. He was tried from talking on the phone, and i was tired from roaming around the country for 3 hours listing to his friends chat about their boyfriends, jobs etc.

Now I gathered my self and decided to let my emotion aside and start focusing on my own life, get my masters, find me a decent job, enjoy my weightloss process , meet my friends and make newer ones, enjoy my hobbies and let our relationship take its own path in either having us back together or grow apart.Β  Life is too short to be wasted like that.

Because of that I’m back to write my stories, back to the kuwaiti life style and i shall never be away again.. nothing is worth it.

16 Comments

  1. it’s sad how people change…I am sorry

    Dearest Shopa,
    I am sorry for them too, its nice to change for the good, things are a bit different in our society, change is always bil magloob.
    Thank you my dear
    Zeena

  2. awal shay congrats on youe waight loss mashalah mashalah u did a great job wish me luck i need to loose 11 kilos

    about u and your husband , shakoo bl nas do what ever u want hold his hand , hug him and ta3legay feeh i heard lots of comments but i don`t care mo ga3daa aswee shay 7raam

    rakzaay 3laa nafsich la tarb6een 7yatich b3lagtich ma3aa zoojich ahaam shay enkom t7boon ba3aath o khlaa9 ma3a el wagt kil shay ra7 ytgayar o lama shawaay entay telheen tra ra7 yroo7 3anich haltfkeer

    3la 6aree el frinds ooof wee3 ana mithlich ydgoon bwagt sakheef o 3nda 3eeb ma yred ooof ana a39eb

    bas as u said enah 3nda females frinds madree a7es hathee 9a3ba shaway

    o my advice la tkhaleen shay bglbich elee ythaygich gooleeh don`t fight but la t7reen nafsich

    sorry adree garga bas 7aseet enah fee waayed shglaat just like me πŸ™‚

    Dear q8Bride,
    I think all married women have the same troubles with their husbands as it is with singles too.. You know i tried to fix things between us but i guess he chose to have his space, right now he is at his parents house as i refused to leave our apartment..le2ana hatha beety! Now ana weyah aren’t talking at all and i feel as if i am single again. Only time can tell what will happen between us, laken 6alag o khal3 ana ma ra7 asaweh.
    About his friends, i am friends with them too.. 3omerna ma kan 3endna mashakel ma3ahom… ila min reja3na il Kuwait.. madry shfeehom il banat 9araw yestasheloon salfat 3elaqat ma3a mitzawjeen! gamaw ye6le3oolna refejat min ma adry ween !
    Allah kareem inshalla.. atmana tet3adal il omor beena.. il denya ma teswa.
    Thank you my dearest,
    Zeena

  3. As you said nothing worth it! Keep your emotions aside and learn how to love your self. Make a good plan for your new life “A new Zeena”.
    State your goals, prepare for your master’s degree, find a good career “Something to put your focus on”, and practice your hobbies.

    Best wishes ^__^

    Dear Technogal,
    You name makes me happy on its own, i love everything with the word tech πŸ™‚
    Your words are great and are exactly what i am doing without the part of new Zeena, i’m always the same Zeena the loving wife and the giver no matter how successful i get this wont change as it gives me joy. I did apply for a good job and i am looking for masters program to join and focusing on my weight loss more than ever, there are couple more kilos till my goal and i hope i will be there healthy and fit.
    Thank you for yur kindness,
    Zeena

  4. I am SO impressed that you have lost so much weight. You are amazing. And I like the way you think about things, and try to make them better. Your husband’s greatest treasure is his wife. I suspect he values you higher than you think, but it is a pity he won’t turn off his phone and focus attention on you. You might start small – ask him if you could have one hour with him, with his phone turned off, fix a nice dinner, candles . . . πŸ™‚

    Dear Intlxpatr,
    Thank you so much for your encouragement and sweet word. This time i had my head into the weight loss and i’m still heading to my final target even though i am emotionally unstable. I loved your advice about my husband and i alot, I’ve tried them for the past week but i think he has lost interest as he is spending his nights at his parent house and refuses to return to our place. As i don’t believe in divorce, i’m letting him go and focusing on my life without leaving our apartment.
    Your words drew a smile on my face.
    Zeena

  5. dear zeena, you have a very engaging style of writing and i enjoyed reading your blog. you also have a good sense of humour! i also have had a weight problem since giving birth to my child. i also had a miscarriage the first time i got pregnant. i also went through some problems in my marriage…i’m happy that you are focussing on yourself and exercising to reach your goal. sometimes, we need time to heal after we have gone through something painful (like miscarriage). i suspect your distance from your husband is due to this loss. dont give up contacting him or speaking or trying to meet him. he will SURELY come around and i’m sure he misses you. he just doesn’t want to show it now. Allah bless you, Ameen!

    Dear height of joblessness,
    Thank you for your sweet words and great advices, i really wish he would come back or atleast answer my phone calls or even reply to my msgs and e-mails. he is away now for a month or so and enjoying his life as i heard .. everything he had for me changed in one single night… i wish if there is any explanation .. the miscarriage happened a while before he leaves our home, i can’t really see how its related.
    I’m trying to move on .. but everything is reminding me of him.
    Allah kareem

    Love Zeena

  6. Hey girl.. where are you? long time no see ^__^
    Mubarak 3leech elshaher.. it’s late a bit though!

    you’ve been missed!

    Hi dearesr, 3aleeena o 3aleech thanks luv.. taqabal allah 6a3atkom inshalla.. walla i’ve been really busy with my thoughts and life .. i’ll be back soon with more stories to tell.. i miss you too sweetheart.
    Love,
    Zeena

  7. It doesn’t matter what others think at all. If your husband started becoming more distant then as much as this might sound painful 80% of the time it is also the wife’s fault.
    Maybe you have felt a bit of difference from his end and that intensified your reaction which in the end led to both of you growing more distant.

    You shouldn’t care what others think. If you want to hold hands with your husband in public do it.

    A great relationship is a strong one that keeps whatever is between you two solid without anyone interferring. He should be your friend more than a husband. Someone that shelters you from the outer world.

    Ignore what people think and work hard to keep what you have alive.

    Not many people have that πŸ™‚

    Dearest Mui,
    Maybe its my fault, maybe i did some mistakes in our relationship but i’m not alone, even if its 80% my fault one should give it a try to fix the damage and its only me in our relation, he decided to stay away. You know we are not talking, he refuses to meet or talk to me and he doesn’t allow me to visit his family which are mine by now.
    I dunno what will happen now.. i’m giving him his space, let him think for a while..i’ll wait.
    Thank you for the support,
    Zeena

  8. I just wanted to say I came across your blog by accident and got so absorbed πŸ™‚ I love reading what you write and we have something in common.. my name is Zeena and I am married to a Khaled too! And I struggle with my weight 😦 I really hope to read more from you and wish you luck on your weight loss xxxx

    AWW ZEENA!!! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚
    What a nice coincides ..i hope your life with your khalid is better than ours. The weight struggle should be controlled before its too late πŸ™‚
    take care and stay in touch.
    Zeena

  9. I was Attracted by the name you choose ” A diary of an obese girl ” it should be ” a diary of an X obese girl ” lols ;p .. well that is the problem in Kuwait . you can’t do any thing with out people saying some thing about you .. i taught my self to ignore them as long as i’m doin’ the right thing .. harming no one .. & enjoying my time .

    The phone thing problem i don’t know about .. i’m still 18 so i don’t know ;p .. but i always see my dad talking .. talking & keep talking on the phone while we are in the car as soon as he hang up & my mum try’s to talk to him the phone rings again !! .. it never rings at home .. only when we go out together !! weirdo . I Think people in Kuwait are more into talking through the phone , internet .. etc . i don’t understand why friend on the internet or in the phone seems nicer . I think we begin to love keeping distance between us & the people due to the technology .

    sorry for the long comment .

    & what a nice diary .. With all best wishes πŸ˜‰

    Dear M.D
    I think you are absolutely right, they really like to keep a distance and they are very much nicer than meeting them in person.
    Thank you for being such a sweet heart.
    Zeena

  10. First, congrats on you’re wait loss and wish you success in reaching your goal. Then, I’m also married for 5 years and i first had this problem almost immediately after marriage 😦 yet, I learned that the more I nag at my husband the weaker the relationship. i mean, he started avoiding standing closer to me while waiting in line in the supermarket, for example. So, I stopped asking him to kiss me or hold hands (intimately) in public. Now, I live my life as best as I wished for, with lots of ROMANCE at HOME! and more talking OUTSIDE πŸ™‚

    Dear Maha,
    Thank you.. its a bit slow but i’m happy with the results.
    As for khalid, we are not together anymore, he lives with his parents and i live in our apartment. You know dear i never nagged or showed my frustration about showing our affection in public..i guess it was a sign that we are being apart.
    allah kareem.
    Zeena

  11. hello..
    its my first time i think that i leave a comment. i liked ur blog a lot and iv been readin it for a long time. ur kinda my inspiration in lossin Wight. hope all ur prob. get solved ya raab

    u deserve all the best sweetee

    best of luck

    salamz sweetee…

    • I wish you all the best on your journy of mot only losing wieght but also fondong your strengths and building more of them. Cheers to the lovely you

  12. 3eeesich mubarak πŸ™‚ O 3asach min 3awadah.

  13. soory
    3eeesich = 3eeeedich ^__^

  14. You are nice person and allah will be with you

  15. hey,
    the way you reach out to your reader through your blog is so inspirational:)

    I dont understand why you never communicated with your husband and told him how you felt. i dont understand how you allowed him to talk to his female friends on the phone infront of you. that behaviour is completely disrespectful! show him whos in control woman;) You’re worth so much more than that and if he doesnt realize it, then he’s not worth it.

    congrads on doing your own thing for now; && losing the weight.
    please continue to blog and tell us whats new wif you now;)


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